“The Dark Crow Man sits
And stares into Oblivion…
Into Cold… Into Nothingness…
It’s snowing in His mind.
He’s created Himself in
His own Image…”
— Lamb of God, The Subtle Arts of Murder and Persuasion
The part of The Ryan most in need of a creative outlet is the part that finds it most difficult to express constructively. The Dark Crow Man is everything that is wretched and despairing within Us, amplified to abhorrence. The Dark Crow Man wants only to destroy. It wants to rip flesh from bone, it wants to wrench reality apart at the seams, it wants to butcher and devour all of existence in its rage and gloom. It knows nothing of cathartic expression, of transformative release. It is scorn and brooding and the bleak space of void made form, and its vacuity is interminable.
The Dark Crow Man is, like all parts of We, ever present, if not pervasive. But, also like all parts of We, there are times it is suffuse across the whole; it permeates Us, and it is all that We are. We have been consumed by the Dark Crow Man for the past several weeks, to a degree We’ve not before experienced. To be in that place, where the Dark Crow Man resides, is exhausting. It overwhelms and suppresses. In that void made form are eternities of moments through which We did not believe We would emerge.
In that space, We struggle to have voice. The sounds We hear, and those We make, are shrill and piercing, leaden and oppressive. They are savage grunts and primal concrete resonance. We buckle under their weight and the oppression of Our selfsame chosen hell. We are consumed by Our fear even as We embrace it. And so We sit silent ponderous and reflectively reflexive, a volatile, broiling chamber of scorn, loathing, judgment, despair, confusion, and ponderous brooding without vent.
We struggle to have voice. But We are obstinant, and so We do not relent. We are unabating. We embrace the struggle, the process. We fail, but We persist. We will be better, stronger, more enduring in the future.
The Dark Crow Man is Us. But it is not that Darkness which will define Us.
© Ryan Scott Sanders and Dharma and Belligerence: Mad Rants from a Free-Range Buddhist Hooligan, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ryan Scott Sanders and Dharma and Belligerence: Mad Rants from a Free-Range Buddhist Hooligan with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.