“What about us, dawg?”


A pang of guilt. A sense of betrayal. And then, the bitter, cold longing overtook me.

I am in The Meadows with my Lady, Miss Jenn, for a week, getting some quality time in and stoking the fires of our current “long-distance lovers” situation. My darling’s sweetheart pit bull, Sir Oswald the Spastic (Ozzie for short), and his penchant for sloppy, drool-laden affection inspired my recently-posted tongue-in-cheek lyrical “poem,” dat canine flow.

Immediately after posting the laughing Oz rhyme, I fell into a black, cavernous depression: I suddenly missed my own fur-babies terribly, and was consumed by shame at having publicized their brother, His Royal Ozmuth, before any mention of the Teriblé Deuxsome themselves.

So, without further ado, allow me to introduce Our other two “fearsome” pittie babies!


Miss Molly Malone is our Irish revolutionary expat. She was apprehended in the streets of Tucson several years ago as part of a crackdown on rogue former CanineIRA soldiers now banded together as mercenaries against American prairie dog tyranny in the States. Miss Molly was released to us as part of a kennel-to-home reintegration program, and now searches for rare vinyl online and connects the items with potential buyers for a small fee.


Herman Claudius von Barksdjik spent much of his life on the streets, eking out a sparse, ascetic existence, ripe with undiagnosed mental illness and post-traumatic stress psychoses from a part of his past we believe may forever be lost to amnesia and the tides of time. After obtaining a moment of enlightened clarity, he bonded with a lovely pair of delightful and unique young women in the street of Barrio Hollywood, Tucson, who showed love and affection for the first time in his forlorn memory. When Becks and Nat were moved along in the rivers of their lives, Herman chose to stay behind. Fortunately, he directed them to find Molly and I, a beacon of empathetic and hopeful light in a sea of uncertainty.

I love Molly for her grace, spirit, kindness, and independance.  But Herman is my canine soulmate.  We understand one another and share our demons on a cosmic, spiritual level.

Fuck my life, I miss them! Soon, puppie faces…soon… 🙂

© Ryan Scott Sanders and Dharma and Belligerence: Mad Rants from a Free-Range Buddhist Hooligan, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ryan Scott Sanders and Dharma and Belligerence: Mad Rants from a Free-Range Buddhist Hooligan with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


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