trying to love myself
‘what is there to see?’
I try to front.
I only hate.
With the utmost savage viral poisonous scorn
THE only Loathing.
I bought enlightenment
on a lie
a fucking promise
it would all be better someday.
this poisonous thought fuck anger fuck deranged psychotic experiem.experiment of civil poisonous living I wanted the ohm the peace the rumbling the spirit conscious of the universe that english word purports to label nothing it all fails there is no unity we pick out all our sense our essense from the hateful tide of bitter longing and I can’t hope to degress digreaa into a trap of self perpetuation see we are all the thing the terrible loathing thing and we will all destroy the creatures that try so hard to hang on to sit alone at the edges of loathing and dread and find that you were the demon you don’t know how and we sit always together in isolate misery not knowing you’re trying to get by but She leavea us. The Only One.
We wanted this from the start.
We never meant to believe.
To accept. It was known from the Start. We never gave Her a chance. We want to kill all hopeful things.
Because the ideal cannot live without
Because we wish to breed discontent
Because we are but simple pawns
Because we take it to the edge
Because there is no simple yearning