"This digressed mind is a labyrinth of twisted abjection..." - Michael IX Williams • Abjection is a sort of perpetually bleak, depressed, hopeless, dejected state of mind and being. I have been feeling particularly abjected as of late, even after the most recent stay in the funny farm. • My memory of my struggle with … Continue reading A Labyrinth of Twisted Abjection, Part I
"...sometimes I'm so unglued..." Eyehategod, lyrics by Mike IX Williams https://youtu.be/nVhh6QPNayo I came out of a level 1 psychiatric hospital two days ago after a two week stay for suicidal and homicidal ideation during a psychotic episode. At the time I felt more than ready to come back out to "reality," but that euphoria soon … Continue reading “Sometimes I’m stuck together…”
The Wvrm, the Slvg, the Pillow, and the rest of The Horde are chock full of clonazepam and goddamn government approved freedom loving tax supporting medical marijuana and we're on the bus with the most insane grindcore known to man blasting in our earholes and a bunch of other wack jobs on their way to … Continue reading Not A Proper Post (but here ya go)
The social climate being what it is with regards to the dominant topics of the time, I've occasionally found myself pondering the ideas of gender, gender identity, and whatnot lately. In the current terminology I suppose I would most accurately be labeled a straight cis white male. Ugh, fucking horrible, those guys are the WORST, … Continue reading Pondering Gender and Identity and Whatnot
There were times, often late at night and deeply seated into the void, when the thing in his spine would stir, fitfully. The fluid around it would seem to boil and pop, filling the space around it with frenetic energy and a sound deafening in the vacuous space, a sound to mask the absence of … Continue reading Stirring, Fitfully
I slept less than two hours last night, and then worked a 12 hour day. I've gotten maybe five or six hours of sleep a night every night for at least two weeks, sometimes less. I should be exhausted, which I am, but I'm also WIDE the fuck awake and not just a little hyperactive. … Continue reading Sometimes I Wonder If I Share Too Much… 🤔😂
I was searching, for what felt like years all stitched together with fragile ribbons of nerve tissue, through an infinite mound of sun-hot sand, for something completely intangible and without name but somehow I knew finding it to be essential. Thousands of small, deformed, multicolored beetles with razor-head mandibles would come scurrying out from underneath … Continue reading Dream Stuff
This might take a while... The place I reside on the Bipolar spectrum has me pretty much rubbing shoulders with schizophrenia to the point that sometimes I question whether I've been correctly diagnosed. My inner thoughts are basically a constant commentary by / conversation between five distinct people. When the mania really ramps up, I … Continue reading Nucking Futs: A Tale Of Labor and Insanity
Well, shit...I suppose my "plan" to get back to writing and posting here more regularly hasn't really been seen through, so far. But the thought struck me, like a Nike sneaker to the skull at a hardcore show, as to what the future of this page and my contributions therein should be. And it goes … Continue reading A “New” Direction?
Looks like it has been around two months shy of three years since I posted here. I barely remember why I stopped posting, stopped writing in general, but I do very much recall the overall "event" that influenced my stepping away. I wrote about some of it here, back then, as I recall, but there … Continue reading Hello, Am I The Me I’m Looking For?