There were times, often late at night and deeply seated into the void, when the thing in his spine would stir, fitfully. The fluid around it would seem to boil and pop, filling the space around it with frenetic energy and a sound deafening in the vacuous space, a sound to mask the absence of … Continue reading Stirring, Fitfully
I slept less than two hours last night, and then worked a 12 hour day. I've gotten maybe five or six hours of sleep a night every night for at least two weeks, sometimes less. I should be exhausted, which I am, but I'm also WIDE the fuck awake and not just a little hyperactive. … Continue reading Sometimes I Wonder If I Share Too Much… 🤔😂
This might take a while... The place I reside on the Bipolar spectrum has me pretty much rubbing shoulders with schizophrenia to the point that sometimes I question whether I've been correctly diagnosed. My inner thoughts are basically a constant commentary by / conversation between five distinct people. When the mania really ramps up, I … Continue reading Nucking Futs: A Tale Of Labor and Insanity
Well, shit...I suppose my "plan" to get back to writing and posting here more regularly hasn't really been seen through, so far. But the thought struck me, like a Nike sneaker to the skull at a hardcore show, as to what the future of this page and my contributions therein should be. And it goes … Continue reading A “New” Direction?
Looks like it has been around two months shy of three years since I posted here. I barely remember why I stopped posting, stopped writing in general, but I do very much recall the overall "event" that influenced my stepping away. I wrote about some of it here, back then, as I recall, but there … Continue reading Hello, Am I The Me I’m Looking For?
"Waves crash down, unrelenting, unending. We are stone shaped by the force of its abuse; colossal mountain ranges eroded to jagged shorelines; aged cliff tops, decrepit and helpless; earthen cadavers now ripe for mining to the very core of our souls. Or so we would have you think. Magic is willpower. Willpower is magic. Self-knowledge … Continue reading “We are stone shaped by the force of its abuse;”
Oregon Killer's Mother Wrote of Troubled Son and Gun Rights (The New York Times) From what little detail is given in this article concerning the recent mass shooting, it seems clear that the shooter in Oregon had an extensive history of mental illness. Once again, everybody is "up in arms" (pun absolutely intended) on either side … Continue reading Mental Illness and Mass Shootings
I've been trying since February to get help from the government with my mental health bullshit that's been rearing it's ugly, destructive head most of my life. Since then it's been nothing but bureaucratic red-tape clusterfuck inanity. After another extended period of no communication on their end, I called today and found out benefits were … Continue reading Fuck You, Government.
Title from Buzzov*en, "Shove" from the album ...To a Frown I learned something interesting at my head shrinking session a couple days ago. Apparently, the current medical knowledge of the last decade or so indicates that anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication has little or no effect on bipolar symptoms, and in many cases can actually exacerbate … Continue reading Take a look around, man and watch our worlds collide!
I love how it takes me five hours to watch a one hour show because I think I recognize that guy and, wait let me Google movies that star a strong Latino barber, but hang on this Mountain Dew is empty and while I'm up we're out of chips, so I better let the dogs … Continue reading This is why nothing gets done.