This might take a while... The place I reside on the Bipolar spectrum has me pretty much rubbing shoulders with schizophrenia to the point that sometimes I question whether I've been correctly diagnosed. My inner thoughts are basically a constant commentary by / conversation between five distinct people. When the mania really ramps up, I … Continue reading Nucking Futs: A Tale Of Labor and Insanity
Title from Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show, "The Cover of 'Rolling Stone'" I want to start a one man "band" making loud, angry, destructive heavy music. This is going to be quite a process: 1.))) Dust off my guitar and start jamming. 2.))) Dust off Stacy's old keyboard, and our Grandpa's fucking bad-ass electric organ, and … Continue reading Ah, that’s beautiful… We got a lot of little teenage blue eyed groupies who do anything we say…
Why are we even doubting the woodchucking capabilities of woodchucks? Are there woodchucks out there that can't perform this task? Because, if so, I feel like they shouldn't even be called woodchucks at all... © Ryan Scott Sanders and Dharma and Belligerence: Mad Rants from a Free-Range Buddhist Hooligan, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this … Continue reading How Much Would?
I can't stop making these and polluting social media with them. I don't care if I'm the only one who thinks it's funny! For reasons that I'm not concerned enough about to reflect deeply upon, I started out doing this with a clear Lynchian theme... ...and, after burning out on that material, I was compulsed … Continue reading Started From Blue Velvet, Now We Here… (Gallery)
Someone dear to me shared this outstanding post from Vice News on the subject of psychiatric medication withdrawal. You can find the original post by following this link.
Below is one of my own rantings on the subject from recent months.
I have been on and off various psychiatric medications for my entire adult life, mostly concurrent with a good fifteen plus years of self-medication with “illicit” drugs and alcohol. Surprise of all surprises, I am also the kind of “adult” who can never seem to get his fucking life together. This instability accounts for my inconsistency with staying on the legal drugs — I lose a job, I lose insurance coverage, I lose my doctor, I lose my mind. In the midst of this, I destroy everything.
Beyond that, I have ever increasing doubts about the efficacy of psych meds at all, coupled with growing anecdotal evidence and research suggesting I’ve never been accurately diagnosed in the first place. But that is a topic for another time…
I mentioned here that, for various reasons and circumstances, I would be going off the current “wonder drug” that I’ve been pumping through…
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Photograph: Loomis Dean/Time & Life Pictures/Getty Images "At any street corner the feeling of absurdity can strike any man in the face." - Albert Camus Image via Camus Society "At any street corner the feeling of the funk can strike any man in the loins." - T.R. Sanders Via Image Kid "Get up! Get on … Continue reading At Any Street Corner…
Image by Kurore García This could be the brain cloud talking, but oblivion sounds so goddamn appealing in this moment... Suicidal ideation is often a symptom of mental illness. In a small portion of the population, suicidal ideation is a side-effect of psychiatric medications used to treat mental illness. When stopping the use of psychiatric … Continue reading Ideation on Oblivion
I have been on and off various psychiatric medications for my entire adult life, mostly concurrent with a good fifteen plus years of self-medication with "illicit" drugs and alcohol. Surprise of all surprises, I am also the kind of "adult" who can never seem to get his fucking life together. This instability accounts for my … Continue reading The Pills You Take To Mend Will Be the Architects of Your Destruction: A Musing on Paxil and the Struggle With Madness
"ABSURDITY Let's act like sphinxes, however falsely, until we reach the point of no longer knowing who we are. For we are, in fact, false sphinxes, with no idea of what we are in reality. The only way to be in agreement with life is to disagree with ourselves. Absurdity is divine. Let's develop theories, … Continue reading PESSOA on ABSURDITY
I am going off my medication. There are several reasons for this. The first is the Perfect Storm I unwittingly rowed into. Without going into too much detail, I ramped up the Crazy, quit my job, lost my insurance, all in the middle of finding out my doctor was retiring from patient practice. Without insurance … Continue reading Crazy Pills and Brain Storms