The place we come To mend ourselves After abject cranial explosions Is littered with the remains Of those who have Come apart before us Either not reassembled, or perhaps Put back together with a Few extra pieces remaining These parts are discarded, left behind And we try to assemble them Make some sense of what … Continue reading To Be Someone
"This digressed mind is a labyrinth of twisted abjection..." - Michael IX Williams • Abjection is a sort of perpetually bleak, depressed, hopeless, dejected state of mind and being. I have been feeling particularly abjected as of late, even after the most recent stay in the funny farm. • My memory of my struggle with … Continue reading A Labyrinth of Twisted Abjection, Part I
"...sometimes I'm so unglued..." Eyehategod, lyrics by Mike IX Williams https://youtu.be/nVhh6QPNayo I came out of a level 1 psychiatric hospital two days ago after a two week stay for suicidal and homicidal ideation during a psychotic episode. At the time I felt more than ready to come back out to "reality," but that euphoria soon … Continue reading “Sometimes I’m stuck together…”
Support the Human Extermination and Decimation Project. Obey your gods. Elect your masters. Kill your neighbors, then yourself. New Digressed Mind song and music video are live NOW. Music for human filth, composed by animal excrement. FOAD. Links below. Kill your neighbors then yourself. Music Video directed by Hank The Wvrm https://youtu.be/DA4DX-JniIg Digressed Mind on … Continue reading Marcy Sings and Ryan Swings (Between Thoughts of Murder and Suicide)
Besides those few half-heartedly pathetic attempts at drawing myself back into posting here, I haven't really been active on this blog since my big, exciting psychotic break in 2015. And it took me too long but I finally admitted that I'm not the same person I was before that break, and so I'm not going … Continue reading Under Construction
This might take a while... The place I reside on the Bipolar spectrum has me pretty much rubbing shoulders with schizophrenia to the point that sometimes I question whether I've been correctly diagnosed. My inner thoughts are basically a constant commentary by / conversation between five distinct people. When the mania really ramps up, I … Continue reading Nucking Futs: A Tale Of Labor and Insanity
Well, shit...I suppose my "plan" to get back to writing and posting here more regularly hasn't really been seen through, so far. But the thought struck me, like a Nike sneaker to the skull at a hardcore show, as to what the future of this page and my contributions therein should be. And it goes … Continue reading A “New” Direction?
I've been trying since February to get help from the government with my mental health bullshit that's been rearing it's ugly, destructive head most of my life. Since then it's been nothing but bureaucratic red-tape clusterfuck inanity. After another extended period of no communication on their end, I called today and found out benefits were … Continue reading Fuck You, Government.
Title from Buzzov*en, "Shove" from the album ...To a Frown I learned something interesting at my head shrinking session a couple days ago. Apparently, the current medical knowledge of the last decade or so indicates that anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication has little or no effect on bipolar symptoms, and in many cases can actually exacerbate … Continue reading Take a look around, man and watch our worlds collide!
Title from Fistula, "Smoke Cat Hair and Toenails", from the album Vermin Prolificus Manic as fuck. This has been building. It's a frantic race to nowhere. A deranged rat on a hamster wheel. The sedatives aren't working ("I think I can handle my sedatives, bro..." -Charlie). Cyclical thought experiments. Running through my past transgressions. Recall, … Continue reading …down on the floor, scratching for more…