A Beast Possessed

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Fevered, purposeful growling. The thunderous boom of paws quaking the ground. Unmistakable commotion. Looking out, I notice Herman trying to get at something on top of the fence in the backyard, so I go out to investigate. Come to find there is a pigeon perched calmly atop the fence, mere inches from his savage, clamping jaws (dude can JUMP).

Wondering why the bird doesn’t fly away, I look closer, thinking perhaps it decided to construct a nest at this precarious and exposed location. Finding nothing, I decide the bird must be hurt, and try to distract the Herminator away to leave the poor fowl in peace.

Herms, in classic obsessive compulsive fashion (he is my boy, through and through), can’t break his focus from this feathered intruder for more than a moment at a time. Eventually, he gets a running start through the yard and flings the full weight of his body into the fence, his gaping maw snapping down furiously where that idiot dirt birt sat only seconds ago.

The fucking pigeon bastard was taunting Herman this entire time, only to finally take flight at the last possible moment. It is long gone into the crisp Wyoming sky, and now Herman is a beast possessed. He is obsessively combing the yard, circling around, leaping against the fence with head towards the sky, searching in singular purpose for that foul fowl which dared invade his space and raise his furious canine ire…

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Not our feathered antagonist...

This reminds me of Molly Malone’s many dinosaur hunting expeditions in the feverish Arizona desert…

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© Ryan Scott Sanders and Dharma and Belligerence: Mad Rants from a Free-Range Buddhist Hooligan, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ryan Scott Sanders and Dharma and Belligerence: Mad Rants from a Free-Range Buddhist Hooligan with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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All Mike wanted was a Pepsi…

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If ever there was a tale to illustrate the need for widespread reform in how mental illness is handled in our society, it is the story of Mike.  All Mike wanted was a Pepsi. Just ONE Pepsi.

Next thing he knows, poor Mike is locked away in an institution.  Experience a first-hand account of Mike’s trials and tribulations below…

Sometimes I try to do things and it just doesn’t work out the way I want it to.
I get real frustrated and I try hard to do it and I take my time and it doesn’t work out the way I want it to.
It’s like I concentrate real hard and it doesn’t work out.
Everything I do and everything I try never turns out.
It’s like I need time to figure these things out.
But there’s always someone there going,

Hey Mike:
You know we’ve been noticing you’ve been having a lot of problems lately.
You know, maybe you should get away and maybe you should talk about it, maybe you’ll feel a lot better.

And I go:
No it’s okay, you know I’ll figure it out, just leave me alone I’ll figure it out.
You know I’ll just work by myself.

And they go:
Well you know if you want to talk about it I’ll be here you know and you’ll probably feel a lot better if you talk about it.

And I go:
No I don’t want to I’m okay, I’ll figure it out myself and they just keep bugging me and they just keep bugging me and it builds up inside and it builds up inside.

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So you’re gonna be institutionalized
You’ll come out brainwashed with bloodshot eyes
You won’t have any say
They’ll brainwash you until you see their way.

I’m not crazy!
(In an institution!)
You’re the one who’s crazy!
(In an institution!)
You’re driving me crazy!
(In an institution!)
They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy — myself.

I was in my room and I was just like staring at the wall thinking about everything.
But then again I was thinking about nothing.
And then my mom came in and I didn’t even know she was there she called my name.
And I didn’t even hear it, and then she started screaming: MIKE! MIKE!

And I go:
What, what’s the matter?

And she goes:
What’s the matter with you?

I go:
There’s nothing wrong mom.

And she goes:
Don’t tell me that, you’re on drugs!

And I go:
No mom I’m not on drugs I’m okay, I was just thinking you know, why don’t you get me a Pepsi.

And she goes:
NO you’re on drugs!

I go:
Mom I’m okay, I’m just thinking.

She goes:
No you’re not thinking, you’re on drugs! Normal people don’t act that way!

I go:
Mom just give me a Pepsi, please.
All I want is a Pepsi, and she wouldn’t give it to me!
All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn’t give it to me!
Just a Pepsi.

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They give you a white shirt with long sleeves
Tied around you’re back, you’re treated like thieves
Drug you up because they’re lazy
It’s too much work to help a crazy.

I’m not crazy!
(In an institution!)
You’re the one who’s crazy!
(In an institution!)
You’re driving me crazy!
(In an institution!)
They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy — myself.

I was sitting in my room and my mom and my dad came in and they pulled up a chair and they sat down, they go:
Mike, we need to talk to you.

And I go:
Okay what’s the matter?

They go:
Me and your mom have been noticing lately that you’ve been having a lot of problems.
You’ve been going off for no reason and we’re afraid you’re gonna hurt somebody.
We’re afraid you’re gonna hurt yourself.
So we decided that it would be in your interest if we put you somewhere.
Where you could get the help that you need.

And I go:
Wait, what are you talking about, we decided!?
My best interest?! How can you know what my best interest is?
How can you say what my best interest is? What are you trying to say, I’m crazy?
When I went to your schools, I went to your churches,
I went to your institutional learning facilities?! So how can you say I’m crazy?

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They say they’re gonna fix my brain
Alleviate my suffering and my pain
But by the time they fix my head
Mentally I’ll be dead.

I’m not crazy!
(In an institution!)
You’re the one who’s crazy!
(In an institution!)
You’re driving me crazy!
(In an institution!)
They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy — myself.

It doesn’t matter, I’ll probably get hit by a car anyway…

Suicidal Tendencies released their ninth studio album, 13, in March 2013. “Institutionalized” can be heard on their self-titled 1983 debut full-length.

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© Ryan Scott Sanders and Dharma and Belligerence: Mad Rants from a Free-Range Buddhist Hooligan, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ryan Scott Sanders and Dharma and Belligerence: Mad Rants from a Free-Range Buddhist Hooligan with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.