A Soul Unwound (Ljudet Av Gud) A Thrum In The Deep (The Voice of God)

Title: Full of Hell; "Thrum in the Deep", from Full of Hell & Merzbow ...a man locked up in a shriveled and frigid selfhood, with no living currency of faith and love between him and his fellow creatures... - Dylan Walker, "Ljudet Av Gud" Everything will be good for a time. A new job. A … Continue reading A Soul Unwound (Ljudet Av Gud) A Thrum In The Deep (The Voice of God)

erhaben

What follows is a selection from The Sacred Lost Tomes of The Ryan, the brief and terrible history of which is glossed over here and here.  Attempting to be a poem, this piece was written during my sophomore year at the University of New Mexico, and is perhaps overtly influenced by all of the Nietzsche I was reading … Continue reading erhaben

all mementos of an awareness unwelcome

i wish you thought of me the way i think of you, with desperate persistence, impulsively in stumbling inadvertence triggered by myriad detonations of surging escalated memory yet another thing i can't control. © Ryan Scott Sanders and Dharma and Belligerence: Mad Rants from a Free-Range Buddhist Hooligan, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material … Continue reading all mementos of an awareness unwelcome

A ridiculously short post on an infinitely prodigious topic.

I think I may have reduced the entirety of my existential crises down to a single, yet powerful, philosophical dilemma: How to reconcile my innate nihilism with my cosmic Buddhism. Is it, indeed, possible to believe in nothing and everything? We shall see... 🙂 (Perhaps this is a repurposing of sorts.) Also, it turns out … Continue reading A ridiculously short post on an infinitely prodigious topic.

An introspective musing on cycles and change

Throughout his story, when faced with something perceived as insurmountable, the Ryan's defense mechanism has been to shut down, to push all others away, to isolate and to marinade in comfortable misanthropic loathing. Eventually this acidic process breaks down all the rotting weight and we are able to flush it away, leaving behind a sort … Continue reading An introspective musing on cycles and change

A musing on restlessness and complacency, with Apes of Gloom

Every time I find myself, I get complacent. And then, of course, parts of me get restless. They wander off again and get lost. This time I want to do a better job of putting me all together and moving forward. #TimeToChange "When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back … Continue reading A musing on restlessness and complacency, with Apes of Gloom