2 pomes

[some lazy stream of consciousness scribbling i did tonight while trying to sort out the tumultuous mess of stranded thoughts racing through my confusedly depressed mind right now as i inexplicably spiral out after not so bad a day. kind of had Bukowsky and Mike IX on the mind as i wrote] • with each …

To Be Someone

The place we come To mend ourselves After abject cranial explosions Is littered with the remains Of those who have Come apart before us Either not reassembled, or perhaps Put back together with a Few extra pieces remaining These parts are discarded, left behind And we try to assemble them Make some sense of what …

Monday on a Tuesday

Sorry bros I can't come to work today I left my belt at home Over 90 miles away My pants really aren't that loose Until I try and walk around all day Without a cinchable strap Choked 'round my waist Sagging's a problem But mostly it's a comfort thing Also, I forgot to comb my …

joke’s on me

you're all in on the joke but the only thing i seem to find laughable are the reasons i no longer believe are good enough to not make this the final punchline. © Ryan Scott Sanders and Dharma and Belligerence: Mad Rants from a Free-Range Buddhist Hooligan, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without …

before the breaking

i can no longer recall who i was before the breaking memories faded, distant brittle frames from home video left out in weather and dust there are hints subtle whispers a scent on the breeze, suggestions of who died that day, reminiscent personality left to rot in so much mire. i miss him a bitter …

blank days, like this

on days like this my words run from me, but i do not chase after them. rather, i lie in wait crouching, patient biding my time until they come back, wandering i pounce on them, feral wrestle them to the page force order and meaning upon them, and brand them with my mark. © Ryan Scott Sanders …

erhaben

What follows is a selection from The Sacred Lost Tomes of The Ryan, the brief and terrible history of which is glossed over here and here.  Attempting to be a poem, this piece was written during my sophomore year at the University of New Mexico, and is perhaps overtly influenced by all of the Nietzsche I was reading …

more

i have more of the surface than i know what to do with yet i cannot stop grasping for always ever even MORE. © Ryan Scott Sanders and Dharma and Belligerence: Mad Rants from a Free-Range Buddhist Hooligan, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or …

all mementos of an awareness unwelcome

i wish you thought of me the way i think of you, with desperate persistence, impulsively in stumbling inadvertence triggered by myriad detonations of surging escalated memory yet another thing i can't control. © Ryan Scott Sanders and Dharma and Belligerence: Mad Rants from a Free-Range Buddhist Hooligan, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material …

farewell to self

What follows is a selection from The Sacred Lost Tomes of The Ryan, the brief and terrible history of which is glossed over here and here.  This poor excuse for poetry was written circa 2002 while I was living in Albuquerque, eating all the hallucinogens I could find while obsessively listening to TOOL and reading way too …